Ep 81 | Alexandra Carter

Written By Yasmin Nouri

How to Ask for More Money & Turn a “No” into a “Yes”

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We're excited to re-air another one of top episodes of 2021... and one that's definitely worth listening to as we gear up for our goals in New Year. This episode is all about helping you have the confidence to negotiate and ask for more.

Alexandra (Alex) Carter is a world-renowned negotiation expert, bestselling author of the book, Ask for More, and Columbia Law School Professor.

The image that most of us have in our heads when we think about negotiation is people speaking over one another, fighting for the prize. But this is not what it takes to be a masterful negotiator. In fact, quite the opposite. 

As Alex explains in our conversation today, it’s about asking skillful questions, listening, and understanding how you can fulfill someone’s needs. 

We’ll chat with Alex about her journey, and some of the formative negotiating experiences she has had along the way to help us understand why we need to all ask for more.

While we might believe we are taking something away from someone when we negotiate, we are actually contributing to the upliftment of all of those around us when we get what we are worth. 

We talk about ways of turning a no into a yes, why negotiation is not only about money, and the value of taking time when you make decisions. Alex’s actionable, simple tactics are easy to implement, and you will undoubtedly achieve the results you are looking for if you follow her advice!

Show Notes:

  • Even in the most turbulent times, you can always ask for more. [2:35]

  • Hear what Alex was like growing up, the social struggles she felt she had, and how she discovered her passion for teaching and leading. [4:28]

  • When Alex unearthed her love of negotiation and how she applied it to her own life. [6:48]

  • The story of how Alex negotiated her first salary and what she learned from this. [8:09]

  • Why negotiation is more about asking great questions than anything else, according to Alex. [10:22]

  • Stories of clients Alex worked with who negotiated their salaries and improved their standing in their companies. [13:16]

  • No does not have to be the end of the line; it’s an opportunity to ask about the other person’s concerns. [14:51]

  • How Alex thinks about questions, and the role they play in negotiation. [17:19]

  • What Alex sees in her work with women and their thoughts of negotiation. [20:41]

  • Alex’s take on why negotiations are opportunities to steer relationships. [23:20]

  • How Alex, as a speaker, has turned no's into yes’s when negotiating speaking fees, and what other entrepreneurs can learn from this. [26:40]

  • Negotiating does not always have to be about money; you can find other ways to get value. [30:49]

  • The top three biggest mistakes people make when they negotiate. [33:50]

  • You are already enough, so go out there and ask for what you want. [38:32]

  • Unless you are working in an emergency room, you don’t have to make a decision on the spot. [39:42]

  • Alex’s struggles with imposter syndrome and what we can learn if we have this challenge. [42:38]

  • When you use your voice, you are inspiring others to do the same. [44:44]

  • Why Alex always knew she would be where she is today. [47:01]

  • Everyone, even those you look up to, struggle with imposter syndrome. [49:24]

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Yasmin Nouri
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Ep 80 | Marcus Lemonis